Happy 2nd Birthday Bean!!!

"I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me" -Heartland

Today is one of those bittersweet milestones in my baby's life...she turns 2 today.

Two years ago today as I sat in the hospital scared out of my mind. I was scared of the major surgery I was facing (C-section), I was scared my baby would have to go to the NICU due to complications from my gestational diabetes, and most of all I was scared my baby wouldn't do well with me as his/her mom (we didn't know the sex of the baby until she was born).

The very first picture of Bean

Well at 12:58 pm all those worries went away. The surgery was uneventful (other than taking 45 min to retrieve Miss Chevelle from her comfy spot jammed in my rib cage), she was perfectly healthy, and I was on cloud nine.

Her "thinking face"

At first I thought it was the pain meds that were making me so euphoric, but then I realized it was just the happiness and joy I found in my baby. She was so perfect and beautiful. So here is a letter to my beautiful daughter on her birthday.

In her christening gown, 5 months old

Her 1st Birthday

Dear Ashlyn Chevelle,
First I want to wish you a happy birthday!!! I am so proud to be your Mama, you are the apple of my eye.

I thought you changed a lot your first year of life, but I definitely think you changed more during your second year. You started this first year just having learned how to walk, not quite sure of yourself. I was so proud that you could say "Mama" and "Dada". In the past year you have gone from toddling around to running, jumping, doing somersaults, and climbing. You speak in full sentences, ask questions, learned to tattle (much to your sisters dismay), and have developed a sense of humor (you have even learned how to use sarcasm).

You are a very inquisitive and independent little girl. You love to be Mama and Dada's big helper, always running up to me while I am kneading bread ("I helper you Mama") or grabbing your tool box to help Dada ("I good fixer Dada"). You adore your big sister and cousin, even though you drive them a little crazy. You feel the dogs are your personal jungle gyms, and the chickens and turkeys are your personal pets. You love digging in the dirt and jumping in puddles. You are my little tomboy. A go-kart ride will make you smile and laugh anyday.

You have a little dare devil side to you. You climb onto the back of the couch just to dive off and give me a heart attack. You love coloring (even when it consists of crayons on my wall). You help me clean, and love the bath tub. You would live off of waffles, hot dogs, donuts, apples, and strawberries if I let you.

There is not a day that goes by that you do not make me laugh out loud. You come up with the crazy ideas sometimes, and are not afraid to laugh at yourself. You make my life better everyday you are in it. I can't imagine my life without you. I love seeing things from your eyes. You remind me what is good about the little things in life.

The lyrics I put at the top of this post make me tear up everytime I hear it. I know it is meant from a father to his daughter but I don't know how any father's feelings could surpass a mother's. I loved you first. From the moment I knew I was expecting you, I loved you. I loved every kick and hiccup I felt. The moment you were born my heart swelled and I thought it would burst. I still feel that way everyday. You are my miracle I didn't think I would ever be able to give birth and then I received the greatest gift.

So for this next year Bean, keep having fun. Keep being my silly girl. Sing your songs, chase bugs and chickens, color beautiful pictures, enjoy ice cream, make mud pies, and just have fun. You are well loved, and I hope you enjoy being 2!

Love,
Mama