Dusting Off My Green Thumb...

Winter has been getting me down. So it was time to start cheering myself up.

I started getting all my seeds together. Somehow my lovely husband misplaced about 30 packets of my seeds, but for the moment I'll forgive him because I won't need them for awhile.

Seeing as March starts tomorrow that gives me about 8 weeks before I can plant anything outside. And that is being cautious. Where I live our last possible frost date is June 1st, so by putting things outside a month early that means there are nights I have to run out and cover all my plants.

Tonight I started up my grow light and heating pad. I planted dill, basil, cilantro, rosemary, holly hock, and sweet pea.

I have grand dreams of having fragrant sweet pea and holly hock growing outside my bedroom window. I tried planting them last year but I waited until too late in the season and they never took hold. So I'm starting them early this year.

(**I should mention it is still snowing outside**)

(This is where my holly hock and sweet pea will go, my pond is somewhere under all that snow)

Happy Birthday To Me...

Today is my 28th birthday. I feel old.

Why is it that I am getting ever so closer to my 30th birthday and yet I still don't feel like a grown up?

Maybe wishful thinking on my part...

Wordless Wednesday- Sisterly Love...

Its Monday, What Are You Reading?

This week I'm about 60% of the way through "Under the Dome" by Stephen King.

I have to say I found this book really easy to get into. That is one of the things I like about King's novels, how easy it is to picture yourself in one of his suburban hells. I can picture Big Jim Rennie and honestly believe the female version of him lives about 2 miles down the road from me.

Maddy is going to start "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret." We are starting to slowly have the birds and the bees talk and I thought this was a fitting book to read since it deals with all the craziness that comes with puberty. I remember reading this book when I was Maddy's age and thinking "Thank god, it's not just me that feels this way". We'll see how she likes it.


Bean got to go to the bookstore with us and picked out "Dora's Potty Book". She was very excited that it has a button that makes a flushing sound when you push it. Ahh, the simple joys of being a toddler.

Happy 2nd Birthday Bean!!!

"I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me" -Heartland

Today is one of those bittersweet milestones in my baby's life...she turns 2 today.

Two years ago today as I sat in the hospital scared out of my mind. I was scared of the major surgery I was facing (C-section), I was scared my baby would have to go to the NICU due to complications from my gestational diabetes, and most of all I was scared my baby wouldn't do well with me as his/her mom (we didn't know the sex of the baby until she was born).

The very first picture of Bean

Well at 12:58 pm all those worries went away. The surgery was uneventful (other than taking 45 min to retrieve Miss Chevelle from her comfy spot jammed in my rib cage), she was perfectly healthy, and I was on cloud nine.

Her "thinking face"

At first I thought it was the pain meds that were making me so euphoric, but then I realized it was just the happiness and joy I found in my baby. She was so perfect and beautiful. So here is a letter to my beautiful daughter on her birthday.

In her christening gown, 5 months old

Her 1st Birthday

Dear Ashlyn Chevelle,
First I want to wish you a happy birthday!!! I am so proud to be your Mama, you are the apple of my eye.

I thought you changed a lot your first year of life, but I definitely think you changed more during your second year. You started this first year just having learned how to walk, not quite sure of yourself. I was so proud that you could say "Mama" and "Dada". In the past year you have gone from toddling around to running, jumping, doing somersaults, and climbing. You speak in full sentences, ask questions, learned to tattle (much to your sisters dismay), and have developed a sense of humor (you have even learned how to use sarcasm).

You are a very inquisitive and independent little girl. You love to be Mama and Dada's big helper, always running up to me while I am kneading bread ("I helper you Mama") or grabbing your tool box to help Dada ("I good fixer Dada"). You adore your big sister and cousin, even though you drive them a little crazy. You feel the dogs are your personal jungle gyms, and the chickens and turkeys are your personal pets. You love digging in the dirt and jumping in puddles. You are my little tomboy. A go-kart ride will make you smile and laugh anyday.

You have a little dare devil side to you. You climb onto the back of the couch just to dive off and give me a heart attack. You love coloring (even when it consists of crayons on my wall). You help me clean, and love the bath tub. You would live off of waffles, hot dogs, donuts, apples, and strawberries if I let you.

There is not a day that goes by that you do not make me laugh out loud. You come up with the crazy ideas sometimes, and are not afraid to laugh at yourself. You make my life better everyday you are in it. I can't imagine my life without you. I love seeing things from your eyes. You remind me what is good about the little things in life.

The lyrics I put at the top of this post make me tear up everytime I hear it. I know it is meant from a father to his daughter but I don't know how any father's feelings could surpass a mother's. I loved you first. From the moment I knew I was expecting you, I loved you. I loved every kick and hiccup I felt. The moment you were born my heart swelled and I thought it would burst. I still feel that way everyday. You are my miracle I didn't think I would ever be able to give birth and then I received the greatest gift.

So for this next year Bean, keep having fun. Keep being my silly girl. Sing your songs, chase bugs and chickens, color beautiful pictures, enjoy ice cream, make mud pies, and just have fun. You are well loved, and I hope you enjoy being 2!

Love,
Mama

Knock Knock Joke

Ash: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Ash: I run (she falls over hysterically laughing)

I guess I just don't get my almost 2 year olds sense of humor.

Backyard Sledding, Just Another Reason I Love Living in the Country

Today my sister brought her daughter and step-daughter over for a playdate with me and Ash. It was a nice 27 degrees outside so I had them bring their sled for a little backyard sledding.

While Bean was uber excited about going outside she decided she does not walk in snow and it was Mama's job to carry her or pull her in the sled constantly (Diva!).

We had so much fun! we stayed outside for about an hour, until everyones cheeks were red, noses were running, and I didn't think I could pull a children laden sled up the hill even one more time.

These are the times I'm glad we moved out of the city into the middle of nowhere. How else would my children experience shoo-ing a turkey off their own personal sledding hill?

Just a Random Rant...

Dear PCOS,

I hate you.

Love,
Me

I really don't like using that word, but in this instance it is most fitting. I don't like how one little acronym can strike such fear, disgust,and loathing in one person. I hate having to define my life by this disease.

I have recently started eating more healthy again. I had started in December but unfortunately the holidays kinda threw that outta whack. So back on the bandwagon I am. I hate this counting calories stuff, but it is better for me to eat when I'm hungry and to end my love relationship with (too much) food.

For me carbs are my enemy. And when I say carbs I don't mean fruits and veggies (although fruits should be eaten in moderation due to their sugar content), I mean bread and starches. I love bread, but unfortunately it does horrible things to my blood sugar which in turn causes me to pack on pounds and not ovulate.

My birthday is in 3 weeks. I will be 28. This means my time to become a mommy again has been limited by 1 year. With Jay only being home 3 days a month it has limited our time to TTC also. I need to ovulate!!! The only way that will happen is to lose weight and regulate my insulin resistance. So healthier eating here I come!

I do alright sticking to my diet if I'm home. It's when I go to other peoples houses that things go horribly wrong. Maybe I'll just stay home and hibernate for a few months?

ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

I just want to be a mommy again.