Taking a TTC Break

Unfortunately another downfall on the TTC front. With Jay leaving to be a long haul trucker, that means TTC has to go on the back burner. With him gone 3 weeks out of the month and then only home for a weekend it doesn't leave us with the right schedule to keep trying.

I am still struggling with this. Although I know he is doing what is best for his family it kills me to have to stop. This just adds to my stress. I want more children and unfortunately that does not come easy for me.

My heart breaks thinking it could be another year before I'm able to try again.

Rock City Park Olean, NY

During Maddy's birthday weekend she decided she wanted to go to Rock City Park. Its this great 3/4 mile hiking trail through some of the biggest rock formations I have ever seen. Since we have had a very cold rainy summer most of the trees have already started changing and losing their leaves so our hike was very beautiful.

Now with taking three small children hiking (they're 8, 3, and 19 months) our hike was probably over 2 miles long. They decided to ditch the map and take turns being the leader so we were lost many times.

We spent the afternoon hours exploring and hiking. It was great exercise for the girls and very relaxing for the grownups.

I love taking my daughters and niece out on these little day trips. It gives us a chance as a family to reconnect and slow down after a week of rushing around. And especially with Jay's departure looming in the near future, it gives him a chance to spend quality time with his girls.

If you are ever in the Olean area and are looking for something do for the day that is fun for the whole family and not expensive make sure you check out Rock City Park.

Wordless Wednesday- Grrrr!

Happy 8th Birthday Maddy!!!

On the 19th Maddy celebrated her 8th birthday. I can't believe my little girl is 8. I still think of her as the 2 year old who couldn't sleep without watching Cinderella 3 times in a row. Now she would much prefer to read a book (she's starting the Twilight series now) than watch a movie. It amazes me everyday how fast she grows. If you didn't know our family you would comment how much like me she is. I guess when it comes to nature vs. nurture, nurture wins in our house.

She had a great time bouncing in the bounce house and playing with her friends. Her Papa and Nana camped all weekend and let her and Dee stay in their camper with them.

Each night we had a bonfire and roasted marshmellows and the kids got to stay up late. On Sunday we took the girls to the Rock City Park in Olean. After hiking we got to get ice cream. All in all she had a really good weekend.

I still can't believe my baby's 8.

Roll With The Changes...

"So if youre tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
Ill be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes" - Roll With the Changes, REO Speedwagon

I'm getting over being deathly ill. Seriously I had some stomach bug that caused me to be unable to eat or drink for ten days and regurgitate anything I did try in consume during that time. I had to be put on I.V. fluids twice. I really thought I was dying. I am now realizing as we get older our bodies are just not as resilient as they are as children. A major illness like this not only kicks our butts while we have it, but takes days to get over after the virus is gone.

But, that was not the main topic of my post. Saturday, when I finally returned to work, I received a call from the Homey. The unenevitable happened. He was sick. Which to all the wives out there you know this means he is literally dying (or so he shall act). I was prepared for the whining and exaggerated. I was not prepared for this virus to cost him his job. When Homey contacted his work to tell them he needed to return his rig because of said illness they basically told him, Bummer your sick but we can't help you - keep working. And for my husband who has done this when they told him this in the past and then needed to be hospitalized out of state, this was not an option. He said I'm sorry but I'm bringing the truck back. And now he is unemployed.

So Jay is doing what we always talked about, he is going over the road.

This does not make me happy. In fact this scares the shit out of me. I am used to him not being home for most of the week, but now we are talking 3 weeks at a time he will be gone, and then he'll be home for a weekend. So basically I have to be a single mom. I have to run my house, raise my children as the lone parent. It is almost winter here. I live in the snowbelt. That means lots of snow. Thank god I have a 4x4. I do have a plow truck but if it breaks I will have nothing. I feel very isolated, I live an hour from the closest family members. I am 27 years old, I really should not be scared to live alone but for some reason I am terrified. This weekend is Maddy's birthday party and next week Jay will be leaving.

Wish us luck...