Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Roll With The Changes...

"So if youre tired of the
Same old story
Turn some pages
Ill be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes" - Roll With the Changes, REO Speedwagon

I'm getting over being deathly ill. Seriously I had some stomach bug that caused me to be unable to eat or drink for ten days and regurgitate anything I did try in consume during that time. I had to be put on I.V. fluids twice. I really thought I was dying. I am now realizing as we get older our bodies are just not as resilient as they are as children. A major illness like this not only kicks our butts while we have it, but takes days to get over after the virus is gone.

But, that was not the main topic of my post. Saturday, when I finally returned to work, I received a call from the Homey. The unenevitable happened. He was sick. Which to all the wives out there you know this means he is literally dying (or so he shall act). I was prepared for the whining and exaggerated. I was not prepared for this virus to cost him his job. When Homey contacted his work to tell them he needed to return his rig because of said illness they basically told him, Bummer your sick but we can't help you - keep working. And for my husband who has done this when they told him this in the past and then needed to be hospitalized out of state, this was not an option. He said I'm sorry but I'm bringing the truck back. And now he is unemployed.

So Jay is doing what we always talked about, he is going over the road.

This does not make me happy. In fact this scares the shit out of me. I am used to him not being home for most of the week, but now we are talking 3 weeks at a time he will be gone, and then he'll be home for a weekend. So basically I have to be a single mom. I have to run my house, raise my children as the lone parent. It is almost winter here. I live in the snowbelt. That means lots of snow. Thank god I have a 4x4. I do have a plow truck but if it breaks I will have nothing. I feel very isolated, I live an hour from the closest family members. I am 27 years old, I really should not be scared to live alone but for some reason I am terrified. This weekend is Maddy's birthday party and next week Jay will be leaving.

Wish us luck...

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