Mommy Confessions- The "your growing up" talk

My confession this week is: I don't want to have the "Your growing up..." talk with my daughter.

I am having a real hard time disciplining my eldest daughter. Although she is only 7 (well almost 8). I am starting to get some of that teenage like attitude from her. For awhile now I have been putting the blame for this on many things. I blamed having a baby, moving, and other such things. Lately its come to dawn on me that hormones probably have a lot to do with this.

I guess I am naive in thinking I still had a few years before I would have to discuss puberty and growing up. I guess I just wanted her to stay a kid longer. But with girls reaching puberty at frightingly early ages now I guess its time I get over my fears and broach the topic at hand. She is displaying the typical small rebellious attitudes that many girls have. She is trying to manifest her own ideas about things that don't mesh with my ideals.

So what do I do? I do exactly what my own mom did, I bought a book. It is directed at younger girls and how things change when you "grow up". This book is still hidden in my room. I don't have the strength to give it to her yet. I am dreading these discussions. I have always prided myself on being open about these topics but don't feel comfortable discussing them with my own daughter.

So thats my confession for the week...

A Look Around the Farm...

I realized its been awhile since I put up any pictures from around my farm, so what a better way to spend the evening then taking pictures of my chickens?

One of my growing pumpkins, I can't believe they are this big already...

Two of my baby turkeys (the white are Broad Breasted Whites and the others are Standard Bronze)

My baby's are learning to strut

Ash's Rooster Bubba and his little girlfriend

One more shot of Bubba because he is so handsome.

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

This weather really has me bummed. So what do I do trying to make myself feel better? I start deep cleaning closets. Let me tell you how little it really helps...but anyways, while cleaning the closets I found some random newborn clothes of Ash's that I must've never unpacked when we moved.

These tiny baby things made me very sad. I want another child so bad, but unfortunately my body will not get on track. I hate having PCOS, I hate that I can't do the one thing that my body was made to do. As I'm watching Ashlyn grow up I realize how much I miss having her be little. I miss nursing, I miss co-sleeping (although I do allow her to sleep with me as much as possible, she doesn't choose that very often), I miss having her be dependent on me. She is definately little miss independent now and doesn't need her Mama so much anymore.

I feel like I shouldn't be so upset. Their are plenty of women out there who are still pining to have their first baby and here I am whining when I have two beautiful children. Is it so wrong to want to feel my baby move and kick inside me again? Or get to stare down at my baby while she takes nurishment at my breast?

I have no one who I can really talk to about this. I'm sure my mom and sister are fairly sick of hearing this. Jay doesn't really understand why I'm upset he just thinks it'll happen when its the right time. He really enjoys how interactive Ash is now and doesn't remember the sweetness of having a small infant. They had a different kind of relationship then.

But here we are coming up on 1 year of actively trying to get pregnant without any success. I've had maybe 7 cycles and 2 ovulations. Damn PCOS.

I'm done purging myself of this inner pain. I swear I will stop whining for now. Really I will.

I give my toddler cookies when she won't eat lunch...

Ok I feel bad but sometimes my 17 month old really isn't interested in eating whatever I'm serving for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I offer the food and give her plenty of time to eat it. Most of the time she will eat some but definately not enough to fill her little belly. Next I will try and give her some fruit or yogurt that she usually devours. But in the instance that even that is not working, I have been known to give her animal crackers or a cookie.

**Hides my face in shame**

I am always analyzing everything that goes in my baby's mouth. I breastfed for as long as she would take it, I fed her pumped milk for awhile after that, I made my own baby food. And here I am allowing my toddler to shove sugary substances in her face instead of a well balanced meal.

You may wonder what my reasoning is for this. It's simple I can't stand my children being hungry, especially when its time to lay down for a nap or go to sleep for the night. I know some would say if I left her hungry eventually she would eat what I made her but it just doesn't feel right when she's so little and can't actually tell me why she doesn't want to eat what was provided.

So as it goes today she wouldn't eat her tuna mac n' cheese casserole and right now she's happily chomping down on animal crackers....

Shepherds Pie with a Twist

The amount of ingredients you will need will depend on how big your dish is so no amounts have been placed.

Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Frozen veggies (I like peas and corn)
Al dente cooked pasta (I prefer penne)
Browned ground beef
Parmesean Cheese
Spices


I cook my pasta first (make sure its still a little crunchy in the center so it doesn't overcook when baking). I mix it with a little garlic butter and season with spices and place it at the bottom of the pan. I then grate fresh parmesean over the top of it.


I brown my ground beef and drain all the grease off of it. I tend to brown the beef with a little garlic and chopped onion mixed in (and of course I season it). It gets added to the top of the pasta in the pan.

Now its time to add the frozen veggies. Leave them frozen so they don't become soft during the baking process and they add a little moisture to the dish.

Finally top the layers with your garlic mashed potatoes (this is a great way to use up left over mashed potatoes). Brush the top with egg white and put in the oven to bake at 350 degrees F for approximately 30 minutes!